bUmP-date

I will be entering the 2nd trimester this week, and I couldn't be happier. This pregnancy has been more difficult than the last, and I have really been struggling.

When I found out I was pregnant, I had so many mixed emotions. I was thrilled to find out we were able to get pregnant so soon after the miscarriage, but also anxious and nervous that we could lose this one, too. Shortly after, morning sickness and extreme fatigue set in. For about two months straight, I did nothing but work (had to) and sit on the couch taking Zofran around the clock. Getting myself off the couch was dreadful. I can't count on one hand how many times I stepped foot in a grocery store that whole time. It. Was. Miserable. All that made it a little difficult to be so excited, when I felt so horrible. Once I shared the news publicly, and others shared their enthusiasm and joy- it really helped me to feel excited.

Aside from the morning sickness, I have also been struggling with extreme mood swings and irritability. The smallest of things cause me to get upset, and unfortunately Kyle and Emma are the ones around the most and feel the effects of it. Oh boy, it is a horrible feeling for lashing out over something ridiculous.

Kyle and I planned on 5 kids... He's down to 4, and me, I think we'll call it good now. Of course, I told him to just ignore whatever I said about that until this pregnancy is over. Hormones can really impair judgement. ;)

Luckily, Kyle has been a HUGE help. I can't imagine making it through that dark time without him! And Emma, oh my sweet Emma. I love that little angel. Poor girl has been teething for the past two weeks, and had a cold on top of that. 4 molars all at once. We've been fun to be around...

Bleh. Sorry for the down-er post. 

 

I really am excited to welcome this sweet spirit into our home. Sometimes I don't know why Heavenly Father trusted me with Emma, and to know He's allowing us to have another one... I am beyond grateful. One thing I've been reminded of lately, is that I cannot do this alone. At times I think I've got the hang of it, I'm doing great, and then things get rough and my positivity wavers. I realize that it has a lot to do with my lack of reliance on my Heavenly Father. I cannot do it without His help. Who am I to raise His children without His guidance, strength, wisdom, and love? I can't. I know that now, more than ever. I am thankful for tender moments that He gives us to help remind us just how reliant we are- we must be- on Him.