Emma's Birth Story

Its taken me a long time to sit and write out her birth story. Things have just been so busy around here! As those who have/had babies know. I know I need to record that life changing moment before I can't remember the details!

I had gestational diabetes (GD). My OB took it very seriously, and had me in the office biweekly for check ups. I got to see them a LOT. Thankfully I had it very well controlled with diet, but unfortunately had to take the smallest dose of glyburide at bedtime, because no matter how hard I tried I couldn't consistently keep my fasting blood sugars below 90.

***Also, for those who don't know about GD- it is NOT due to bad diet, exercise, genetics, or any other lifestyle habits. The placenta produces hormones that cause a mother's body to become resistant to its own insulin. Resulting in higher blood sugars. Elevated blood sugar is not good for mom or baby. However, treatment is the same as Type 2 diabetes. So when you come across a pregnant woman, you don't need to ask "Does diabetes run in your family?" or "But you were so thin before" or "YOU had it?! Then I most definitely will get it". Truth is, I know of people who were in BETTER health than me and got it, and women who were in WORSE health than me who didn't get it. Good news: I did the glucose test at 8 weeks post-partum and my sugar was actually lower than the normal range for the test. No diabetes here! Yay. :)

There were never any complications with my pregnancy other than GD. However, most OB's won't let a pregnant women with gestational diabetes go on much longer past their due date without being induced, and especially mine. Fortunately for me, my OB ended up closing her practice and moving to the east coast. I ended up switching to another OB in the same office, two weeks prior to my due date!

I was disappointed and worried, but it was a blessing. I couldn't be more grateful for my new OB, and I will go to with all my future pregnancies. He reviewed everything and we talked about inducing and risks/benefits and if it was necessary for me or not. We thought it best to not let me go more than a few days past my due date, but ended up scheduling an induction for June 4th- two days before my actual due date. I really wanted to have her naturally, but knew the risks of allowing myself the possibility of going way past my due date.

On May 31st, my OB checked me and I was not dilated one bit! A little soft, but that's it. He said that the risk of a cesarean from induction with no dilation was about 85%. Not good odds! But we could try and start out with Cervidil, and if nothing happens and Emma and I are ok we could postpone. So we went ahead and scheduled induction for June 4th at 3 am.

June 3rd, about 8 pm, I receive a call from my OB. He was putting in orders for my arrival, and realized that because I controlled the GD so well, and Emma and I were both doing great, there was no rush to have her. Since I wasn't dilated, the risk of cesarean was as I said, about 85%. I really didn't want to risk that, and neither did he. Although, he said he would support me in whatever decision I wanted since there was no way to tell the future, and a cesarean may not be necessary. We talked for a good 20-30 minutes and came to the conclusion that it would be a good decision to put the induction of until the weekend (June 8th, 5 am). Allowing time for my body to naturally go into labor, but not going too much further past my due date. I was bummed because I had prepared for her TOMORROW, but my gut knew that waiting would be best. Now I had to answer to everyone as to why I didn't go in, why I was still at work, blah blah blah. I was frustrated, but knew this was best for baby, so I would do it! He wanted me to come in and get checked again that Friday, to see if there was any progress. I was dilated to a 1!!! I felt SO grateful that he listened to the prompting to call and talk with me, what a great OB he is.

That night Kyle and I enjoyed swimming and a delicious BBQ  home cooked meal. We were so excited to go to the hospital to welcome our precious daughter!

We arrived at the hospital at 5 am. Got checked in, and directed to the room I would deliver Emma. By the time everything was settled, we started the Pitocin at about 7 am.We were able to skip the Cervidil since I was already dilated. I wanted to labor as long as I could without the epidural, so for the next 5 hours that's what I did. It was painful, but not  unbearable. I thought "Oh, I can totally do this med-free!". OB showed up around 1230 and I was only dilated to 1.5!!! I was sooo disappointed. And knew this was going to be a very long labor. My water broke while he was in the room, and he said I would start feeling the contractions a lot more. He was right! That moment one came and it was 10x stronger than the ones I had experienced. No more cushion. He said the key is to keep the lower half of my body relaxed during the contraction to allow Emma's head to dilate the cervix. Relax?! During a contraction!? He was out of his mind. Obviously, he's never given birth. ha. So, my nurse- knowing I wanted to hold of on the epidural as long as I could- helped coach me through contractions. It worked for almost an hour. Then I just couldn't take it anymore. It hurt, and I couldn't relax, and I knew that it was just going to get worse.

So I got up to pee (holy contractions!!!) and the anesthesiologist came in to put in my epidural. It didn't really hurt, but was hard to sit still. I started feeling relief within 5 minutes. But I could still feel some pain during the contractions in my lower right abdomen. Sometimes it can be positional, so we repositioned my body. It helped, but not totally. We called the anesthesiologist in and he adjusted the line in my back and bolused some meds, and what sweet relief! It was not about 1:30 or 2 pm, and Kyle and I both decided to nap while we could.

Around 4 my nurse came in to check me, and I was dilated to a 5! Such good news to my ears. I was thrilled. I worried an epidural would further slow down the process, but it sped it up! I called my mom and Kyle's mom to let them know it would be a few more hours, but they could come when they wanted. They arrived around 5 pm. We were visiting for a while, and I started to feel pressure, like I had to have a BM. It was roughly 5:30 pm. I remember from nursing school that its a sign pushing will be happening soon! I called for the nurse, and she came to check on me. She didn't think I would have dilated much more, but surprisingly I was at an 8! Since the pressure only occurred during contractions, she said to alert her when I felt it consistently. Well, it wasn't much longer after she left the room that I called her back in. About 6 pm she checked again, and I heard the words "Yep, you are a 10! Let's get ready to push!" I instantly broke into tears. I was nervous, and excited, and emotionally overwhelmed at the thought that I was going to meet my sweet Emma sooo soon!!! Something I have been waiting not only almost 10 months for, but for years!!!

My friend Lisa and SIL Erin came in around that time. My sister Emily was also there. Yes- some may think it odd to have all those people in. I would have to, until I myself became a nurse. I wanted to share this experience with them. I was present for Lisa's birth, and Erin is a nurse too. My MIL only had boys, and even though she has many sisters, was never present for any birth. I was happy to allow her to come experience this, since she is now my 2nd mother! And my sister, because I love her. And thought it would be good for her, too. And last but not least, my dear husband Kyle. He was so wonderful!

At about the same time, I started to feel my contractions again, not just pressure, but pain. I told the nurse to get the anesthesiologist in here soon to fix it! I didn't want that pain to come back, and especially for pushing! He came in and bolused some more pain meds. Nothing! He did that twice. Nothing. He offered to put in a new line, but I was READY to push. There was no time. So, even thought the OB hadn't yet arrived, I started pushing. With my mom on my left, and my husband on my right, I continued to push. It hurt. Bad. And just got worse. Once my OB arrived, Emma was close. One good thing about no epidural is the control you have over your own body. I knew what muscles to work, and could feel it. Also, the pain was a great motivator to push long and hard! ha ha. When Emma's head was just one push away, he instructed me to STOP pushing to allow the skin to stretch and minimize tearing. I thought "Are you kidding me?!" It was at this point I laid my head back and thought "I can't do this. This is the worst pain I've ever felt. I can't push one more time". In the middle of that thought, he instructed me to push. I took a deep breath, and pushed as hard as I possibly could, and Emma was HERE!!! Once her head passed, I felt wonderful! That pressure, that pain, was gone!

They placed her on my chest, and I was in awe. I couldn't believe she was MINE. I knew that she would recognize my voice, so I spoke to her and told her how excited I was to finally meet her. I cried. I was so exhausted, but so invigorated at the same time. I pushed for 20 min. Emma was born at 6:36 pm. She weighed 8 lbs 2 oz, and was 19 3/4 inches long. Everything after that is a bit of a blur. They wiped her up a bit and placed her on my chest, and nursed her for the first time. How amazing that was! I love breastfeeding. To know that I can provide nutrition necessary for my daughter to thrive is such a wonderful thing. Then OB sewed my small tears. I knew that I felt the pain of delivery when he pinched my skin to see if I felt it, to know whether or not I needed to be numbed while he stitched away. I sure felt it! I feel pretty proud of myself. Even though I gave in and got the epidural, I got the natural "delivery" that I wanted to experience... even if it wasn't by choice! :) And, I didn't even scream or yell like all those crazy women in movies... ha ha.

After we bonded for about an hour, they took her and bathed her and my dad, brothers and FIL came in to see her. Shortly after they all welcomed her, everyone left and it was just Emma, Kyle and myself. We were escorted to our postpartum room as a family :) On the way, they play a little lullaby overhead to announce the birth of a new baby- and that was OUR lullaby!! I had been listening to everyone else's the last few weeks at work enviously waiting for my turn. Silly, I know. Something small that just made me smile inside and out!

The past 8+ weeks have been wonderful, exhausting, emotionally trying, and I just can't imagine it any other way. I love seeing her change and grow every day. I love seeing Kyle be a dad. I love knowing that I am her mother, and that she seeks me for comfort. I love breastfeeding her. I love early morning feedings when all I wanna do is sleep, and then she looks up at me and smiles, and my frustration for lack of sleep fades away. I love her fresh baby smell after baths. I love it all.

I love you, Emma.

Can't get enough of her. Getting ready to head home.

He's a DADDY!!! Fatherhood looks good on him. 

My precious little bundle

napping on the couch first week home.

Update!

I've been MIA for a while due to random spur of the moment road trips (due to my husband's purchase of tools out of state) and family time. And... laziness, sleeping in, procrastination, etc...

I'll re-cap our last few weeks with some photographs. More fun to look at them than to read about them. :)

Kyle and I in Branson, MO

On the top of the Arch in St Louis

Reflections

The Bean, Chicago, IL

SLC Temple, SLC, UT

Newport Beach, CA. First time to the beach in 4 years!

He melts my heart!

I just love him :)

Footsies

I loooved it!

Under the Pier, Newport Beach

The Fabric District, Downtown LA

The Loft- fabric was $2.50/pound!

Getting some grub from a local- bacon wrapped hot dog. Yuck. Kyle loved it!

Knock offs and fun stuff for cheap. Just too hot and crowded. 

Grandparent's 50th Wedding Anniversary Party- the whole gang!

Gomez Familia and Grandparents

LOVE these two!!!

Welcomed the newest addition: Evelyn Jade. Precious!

So as you can see, its been quite fun and eventful around here. I am just now starting to create some fun things with all the fabric I got. Its been so hard to decide what to do! Posts will come once I complete some :)

Faith Is An Action Word

Its been almost three months since I graduated from nursing school, and just over a month since I passed the NCLEX making me officially an RN. (YAY!) My days have consisted of sleeping in, exercising, eating, swimming in the pool, watering our many plants, applying for jobs, cleaning, laundry, etc... It was super nice and fun at first. I enjoyed the free feeling of not having to study hours on end for upcoming tests, and worrying about writing care plans or care maps.

As the days have been going by, and application after application has been filled out, my confidence in myself and my ability to become a "real" RN have wavered more than I'd like to admit. You see, every job I've had until now has practically been handed to me. I never had to stress over the endless hours that job hunting entails. I had no idea how hard it'd be to get a job, or even an interview, until now.

A few people from school have landed jobs, most had some sort of connection whether through a friend, volunteering or networking. These days, its all about WHO you know. So, I used some of my resources. Not too much luck there. Last night I realized I needed to up my game. Our instructors told us that along with applying online for positions, we should go onto the floor and introduce ourselves to the manager/supervisor. A face to go along with a name and resume speaks much louder than a "pile of papers".

So, in my prayer last night I made a deal with God. I told him that I would work harder to get a job. I would put more effort into obtaining what I have been so badly desiring. A job would not only help financially and give us insurance, but I would finally be able to do what I have worked SO hard for these last couple years. Well, God pulled through for me today, and I'll share 4 examples.

1) He healed me. I slept horribly last night, bad stomach ache. Pretty sure it was food poisoning mixed with nerves. Not quite sure. I tossed and turned. When I finally woke up, I couldn't talk I felt so nauseated. Kyle gave me a blessing, and although I did not feel better immediately, I did get better. (throwing up usually makes the tummy aches vanish!). After doing that, I felt much better. Had some crackers and apple juice and was on my way to an interview at 10 am. (How grateful I am for the power of the priesthood, and for a wonderful husband who lives worthy to use it in our home!)

2) He restored my confidence and blessed me with a job. I had an interview with a company my friend currently works for. Not hospital, and not the best pay an RN would usually get- but hey, still much higher than any other job I've had. By the end of the interview, the manager told me that he hadn't planned to hire me, but just wanted to get the process over with. (He wasn't the one who set it up, and the guy who did was out of town). However, he felt compelled to offer me the job. Throughout our conversation, I knew that this would be a good job to accept if the offer was made. So- voila. I got a job this morning. The flexibility it offers works great for my schedule now, and will work great for when I do get my goal of a full-time hospital job.

3) He taught me patience and assertiveness. My friend Kristin and I tag-teamed and went to a few places to drop of resumes and introduce ourselves to different managers and departments. I was terrified to go alone, having no idea what to say to them. We figured if we at least went together once it would help us overcome that hurdle. After driving around town for a few hours, we were wiped out. The heat was horrible. Only got to talk to one manager, and everyone else told us "Uh, that is all just done online". You see, it IS done online. To be considered you have to officially apply online. However, those who make the extra effort to go in and speak with the manager usually have the upper hand. It put a damper on the mood, we were so pumped to get out and make an impression... and that didn't so much happen. I was exhausted and just wanted to climb back into bed.

4) He taught me to persevere. Saturday I applied for a job that I wanted. Badly. It was close to home, full time, nights, and would be a GREAT place to start. I knew I needed to go in, but was so nervous I kept talking myself out of it. On my way home, I talked myself into stopping. If I didn't, I would regret it! Besides, what's the worst that could happen? They'd say sorry but its filled, or direct me to online again. haha. So, I went in, introduced myself, and the manager redirected me to the senior manager. Spoke with her, told her of my interest and that if the job hadn't been filled that I would love the opportunity to have an interview... and she agreed! So, I have a scheduled interview with her. (No guarantees on this job, there is some competition stacked against me.) I admit I'd be bummed if I didn't get it, but hey I already got a job offer today. That was AWESOME! And all I can do is prepare for the interview and pray. I know that what happens now is in the Lord's hands.

I am grateful for tender mercies. I am thankful to know I have a Heavenly Father who knows me, and loves me. I am thankful for the lessons He teaches me. Faith is not just a belief in God, or believing that things will just "work themselves out", it is action. It is putting forth every effort I can muster to accomplish my goals and dreams, knowing that the Lord will bless me and make up for my shortcomings and weaknesses only after doing all that I can. God is Good.

"By small and simple things, are great things brought to pass"

-Alma 37:6

Strengthening Your Marriage

For FHE a few weeks ago, Kyle found this clip on lds.org and shared it with me. Afterwards, he shared his thoughts on the subject as well as his testimony. What a remarkable FHE it was that night. Take a moment to watch this video, it is worth it.

I had many emotions and thoughts as I watched this short clip. Now, we are not contemplating thoughts of divorce, and are not experiencing painful situations that would warrant a divorce. However, the simple principles taught can be applied to many situations.

How easy it is to let our guard down with our spouses, to speak to each other loosely in ways that we would not ordinarily speak to another person. Too often married people become complacent. Too often do people forget the promises they made to one another and the Lord as they entered into the marriage covenant. It is easy to end in heartbreak, to forget about each other and focus on our own self. Marriage takes work. Marriage takes constant attention directed to the well-being of each other. I once learned that as we seek to meet the needs of our spouses, our needs will be taken care of. When I was younger, I didn't quite understand that. But how beautiful is the thought that as both spouses fulfill and meet the needs of each other, they won't even need to worry about themselves, for they are being met! Think about it, how can a marriage built on shared principles, shared values, constant acts of kindness and affection, loving words, time together, clear and constant communication, and intimacy fail? No, it won't be a perfect marriage. Obstacles will need to be overcome, weaknesses made strong, forgiveness given. However, that is the type of marriage that can and will last throughout the eternities. It was said that "if we seek him, the Lord will help us and heal us". I know that is true. I know that by putting the Lord first in any marriage, he will strengthen and solidify the bond between husband and wife. He will soften their hearts, and inspire them on how to make it better.

HOW do we put the Lord first? Simple. The example that our Savior, Jesus Christ, has made for us. The saying "What Would Jesus Do?" Comes to mind. If there are moments when your spouse does something that annoys or angers you, what type of response do you give? Harsh, cutting words or loving communication about the situation? WWJD. How about praying? "A family (couple) who prays together, stays together". Love that quote. Prior to our wedding day, we met with our Stake President for some counsel. One thing he told us was that prayer is essential to our marriage, and that in our prayers every nigh, we should thank the Lord for our spouse. Not only our spouse, but for things they do for us or attributes they have. How does it make you feel when someone reports something nice your spouse said about you while you were not around? A million bucks, right? How would you feel if your spouse openly thanked the Lord for YOU? A million x infinity bucks! Do it. I promise you it will make a difference. (Especially if there are moments when it may be "hard" to do so, DO IT.) Serve. Serve your spouse. Those little acts of kindness go a long way. (Ideas: dishes, laundry, back rub, dinner, love notes, etc.).  Be honest. About everything. Communicate your thoughts, ideas, intentions, etc. Marriage should be a "safe place" that you can be completely vulnerable in. There are many ways, and those are some that have been learned and tested to be true by yours truly.

I won't go into those situations where divorce may be warranted. I will give attention to a quote that stuck out to me the most from Dallin H Oaks when he said "A marriage, eternal in duration and God-like in quality, does not contemplate divorce".

My Everything.

My heart has been full as I've contemplated these things. I look at my husband, and I am filled with a happiness that is indescribably satisfying. How did I get so lucky to have found Kyle when I did? I know that it was by divine intervention! He is perfect for me in every way imaginable. I am enthralled that as our marriage progresses, I find more reasons why he was meant for me. It has been a short (almost) 7 months since we have been married, but it is the most natural thing in the world. I can't even remember what it was like to NOT have Kyle by my side, or sleeping by my side every night. I am thankful for the special man that he is, thankful to have a worthy priesthood holder as my husband. He is my everything. If this is just how 7 months feels, how amazing is an eternity going to be?! I look forward to finding out.