Strengthening Your Marriage

For FHE a few weeks ago, Kyle found this clip on lds.org and shared it with me. Afterwards, he shared his thoughts on the subject as well as his testimony. What a remarkable FHE it was that night. Take a moment to watch this video, it is worth it.

I had many emotions and thoughts as I watched this short clip. Now, we are not contemplating thoughts of divorce, and are not experiencing painful situations that would warrant a divorce. However, the simple principles taught can be applied to many situations.

How easy it is to let our guard down with our spouses, to speak to each other loosely in ways that we would not ordinarily speak to another person. Too often married people become complacent. Too often do people forget the promises they made to one another and the Lord as they entered into the marriage covenant. It is easy to end in heartbreak, to forget about each other and focus on our own self. Marriage takes work. Marriage takes constant attention directed to the well-being of each other. I once learned that as we seek to meet the needs of our spouses, our needs will be taken care of. When I was younger, I didn't quite understand that. But how beautiful is the thought that as both spouses fulfill and meet the needs of each other, they won't even need to worry about themselves, for they are being met! Think about it, how can a marriage built on shared principles, shared values, constant acts of kindness and affection, loving words, time together, clear and constant communication, and intimacy fail? No, it won't be a perfect marriage. Obstacles will need to be overcome, weaknesses made strong, forgiveness given. However, that is the type of marriage that can and will last throughout the eternities. It was said that "if we seek him, the Lord will help us and heal us". I know that is true. I know that by putting the Lord first in any marriage, he will strengthen and solidify the bond between husband and wife. He will soften their hearts, and inspire them on how to make it better.

HOW do we put the Lord first? Simple. The example that our Savior, Jesus Christ, has made for us. The saying "What Would Jesus Do?" Comes to mind. If there are moments when your spouse does something that annoys or angers you, what type of response do you give? Harsh, cutting words or loving communication about the situation? WWJD. How about praying? "A family (couple) who prays together, stays together". Love that quote. Prior to our wedding day, we met with our Stake President for some counsel. One thing he told us was that prayer is essential to our marriage, and that in our prayers every nigh, we should thank the Lord for our spouse. Not only our spouse, but for things they do for us or attributes they have. How does it make you feel when someone reports something nice your spouse said about you while you were not around? A million bucks, right? How would you feel if your spouse openly thanked the Lord for YOU? A million x infinity bucks! Do it. I promise you it will make a difference. (Especially if there are moments when it may be "hard" to do so, DO IT.) Serve. Serve your spouse. Those little acts of kindness go a long way. (Ideas: dishes, laundry, back rub, dinner, love notes, etc.).  Be honest. About everything. Communicate your thoughts, ideas, intentions, etc. Marriage should be a "safe place" that you can be completely vulnerable in. There are many ways, and those are some that have been learned and tested to be true by yours truly.

I won't go into those situations where divorce may be warranted. I will give attention to a quote that stuck out to me the most from Dallin H Oaks when he said "A marriage, eternal in duration and God-like in quality, does not contemplate divorce".

My Everything.

My heart has been full as I've contemplated these things. I look at my husband, and I am filled with a happiness that is indescribably satisfying. How did I get so lucky to have found Kyle when I did? I know that it was by divine intervention! He is perfect for me in every way imaginable. I am enthralled that as our marriage progresses, I find more reasons why he was meant for me. It has been a short (almost) 7 months since we have been married, but it is the most natural thing in the world. I can't even remember what it was like to NOT have Kyle by my side, or sleeping by my side every night. I am thankful for the special man that he is, thankful to have a worthy priesthood holder as my husband. He is my everything. If this is just how 7 months feels, how amazing is an eternity going to be?! I look forward to finding out.